Christmas In Maryland - The Deleted Scenes

The Jews Have Everything

John's Nana lives alone in Albuquerque watching Fox and Friends & presumably saving up a year's worth of opinions & zingers until Christmas when she has a live audience. This year did not disappoint. John's dad provides a really nice Christmas. I got all this expensive Under Armour running gear & John & Sally both got winter coats & envelopes full of cash. Regardless, when we finished opening our presents & thanking everyone for our gifts, Nana, who had been sitting silently up to this point, said, "We have nothing because the Jews have everything." And scene.

First, You Take the Chicken

John's Great-Aunt Virginia Lee (Aunt Ginny) hosts Christmas dinner at her house every year. This year, after dinner, there was a knock on the back door & in walks Julia Child. Well, actually it was Aunt Ginny's neighbor & his partner, but he was dressed as Julia Child & had a box of props. Props! Julia proceeded to the front of the room while his partner stayed in the back filming the entire thing. Julia went through this hilarious skit involving bags of dough pulled out of his bra & a rubber chicken. It was hilarious. About halfway through the skit, Ross, Aunt Ginny's son, who is also gay, kicked me under the table & nodded towards Nana. Nana could not have looked more repulsed. I'm sure Julia was Nana's first drag experience & she was nonplussed, to say the least. Sally captured the look on Nana's face with her iPhone. Sadly, I don't have the picture, but trust me, it's priceless.

Are You Looking For A Job

Nana is very concerned about me not having a job. A couple of times over the past week, someone would congratulate me on getting my MPA & Nana would say, "Well, I just hope it gets her a job." Her heart was in the right place, I think, it just stung a little every time she did it. Also, every morning as I was drinking my coffee, I'd open my Macbook & cruise the interwebs, like you do, & Nana would ask me, again, EVERY MORNING, "Are you online looking for a job?"

Return That Coat, Man

For years John has worn this vintage coat that he loves. Yes, it's stained & yes, the buttons keep falling off, but he loves it. This coat is a major source of contention between John & his dad. Last year, John's dad gave him money & told him to buy a new coat, which, of course, John did not do. So this year, John's dad took it a step further & bought John a coat. It was a really nice wool peacoat from Land's End that didn't come cheap. Alas, he bought the wrong color & size. While John & I were at the mall, we noticed Sears carried Land's End, so we walked in & sure enough, there was the coat in the color & size John needed. We call his dad & he tells us to buy it, he'll return the other one & reimburse us. John wears the coat for a few days, we return the other one, but John's dad refuses to reimburse us. So not only did John buy his own Christmas present, he bought himself a present he didn't even want in the first place.

Christmas Wrap Up

Christmas Eve (Friday)

I got up & baked cookies, then John & I opened our gifts to/from each other. We finished packing & headed to Smyrna to have Christmas with my family, then we hit the road for Maryland.

Christmas Day (Saturday)

We arrived in Maryland around 4am, slept for a couple of hours, then went to Annapolis to see John's grandparents & all his aunts & cousins from his mom's side of the family. Then we drove to Catonsville (suburb of Baltimore) to have Christmas dinner at his Aunt Ginny's. As a gift for everyone, John's dad had all of their old home movies, dating back to the 50's & 60's, transferred to DVD. We spent a good 2 hours watching those.

Sunday

We got up & opened presents & sat around for awhile. John & I had planned on going into Georgetown, but it was already snowing, so we found a mall in Annapolis with a Madewell & went there instead. I made out like a bandit! Later that night, we all continued watching the DVDs of old home movies from when John & Sally were little. I promptly fell asleep, but John & Sally stayed up all night watching them.

Monday

Sally was supposed to fly back to Boston, but her flight was cancelled, so we went out on an excursion. John wanted to find his great-grandfather's grave, so we did that, then we went to this awesome thrift store that we always go to. John bought two ridiculous blazers & about 20 new shirts, so he was happy. I got this cute fitted blazer & some vintage boots. Sally got two pairs of name brand jeans for a dollar. Best thrift store EVER.

That night, John's dad took us to dinner at a seafood restaurant where we all kind of went crab crazy. Well, except Nana. She hated the place & basically refused to eat anything. Good times.

Tuesday

Sally flew back to Boston & we went to John's friend Grant's house to see some of John's old friends, then we drove around Baltimore & Ellicott City a little & ate dinner. We had to go to bed early to get up & take Nana to the airport.

Wednesday

We took Nana to the airport, then we headed home. We had to stop in Smyrna to get Linda, but we were home by 10:00pm. Not bad.

And thus ends another Christmas in Maryland. All in all, it was a pretty good Christmas.

Full photostream here.

Merry Christmas!

I'm going off the grid for the next week. I hope you all have a happy & safe holiday.

Merry Christmas!

XOXO,

The Blonde Mule

Dirty Knees, Look At These

Well, it was bound to happen eventually. I fell at the East Nasty run last night. It was honestly just a matter of time before the combination of not being able to see well at night & having zero depth perception landed me on my ass, or in this case, my knees. The super ridiculous part is that I wasn't even running when I did it. Of course I wasn't. I was going into a bar to use the bathroom & tripped running up the stairs. I hit a concrete step right across my knees & then scraped the shit out of my hands. It wasn't pretty. My knees immediately swelled up & started to burn, but I went ahead & ran the 4.43 mile course. They hurt the entire run, which Jessica can attest to as I said about a million times, "I know I keep saying this, but my knees really hurt."

I had to leave right after the run, go get John & go to BA's for a bourbon tasting. When we got to BA's, there was a huge goose egg on one knee, so I sat through the tasting with my leg propped up & ice on my knee. By the time I finally got home & peeled my running tights off, my knees were stuck to them, so now there's all this knee skin & blood on the inside of my tights. Yeah, you're welcome. John coated both knees in Neosporin & I took some Aleve & went to bed. I'm okay today. They're not that swollen, but there are definitely no skirts in my immediate future.....

Weekend Wrap Up

Friday:

I got up early & did my last Pancake Run of the year. This week we're running a different route & then, starting in January, we're changing locations & breakfast venues. As if she knew it was our last time, our Pancake Pantry server bought our breakfast as a Christmas present. So bittersweet...

I spent the rest of the day finishing Christmas shopping. As anyone who follows me on Twitter already knows, I've officially declared the Green Hills Macy's parking garage the ninth circle of hell. I think I'm done with Green Hills Mall until Nordstrom is done & the parking returns to its normal level of insanity.

Saturday:

I started the day by doing the free Lululemon yoga class at Yoga Source in Cummins Station & then we went to lunch at the new Turnip Truck in The Gulch. So good!

That night, with hot corn dip in tow, we headed East to Dave & Alexis' Christmas party. The guys ended up in the dude den downstairs while we girls hung out with the food & wine upstairs talking about 'lady stuff'. So much fun!

P.S. John & I did not wear matching outfits this time. Sorry.

Sunday:

I met Jessica for an early morning run, then John & I went to Smyrna for a graduation lunch at my parents' house. Thanks, Mom! Last night I finished Season 3 of Friday Night Lights. OMG! I can't believe how it ended. I'M ADDICTED TO THIS SHOW!

Fitz and The Tantrums

For the past few years, I've spent a lot of time listening to KEXP online. KEXP is a public radio station in Seattle that specializes in alternative & indie rock. They broadcast on the internet via streaming audio.

Over the years, I'd say easily 80-90% of my music purchases have been a result of listening to KEXP. I used to keep a running post-it note of songs I liked & then once a week or so, I'd get online & download the songs on iTunes. Many times, it's resulted in me going back & purchasing the entire album.

Side Note: They play a lot of The Features, which I LOVE!

Awhile back I started hearing this song I really liked, so I went to the website to find out who it was & it was this band called Fitz and The Tantrums. KEXP describes them as a "contemporary band exploring the retro-soul sounds of the 60's."

On the KEPX Blog recently, they posted a bunch of videos from a live show Fitz and the Tantrums did in Seattle. Below are the 2 songs I'm really into: "Don't Gotta Work It Out" & "Moneygrabber."

Enjoy! Go forth & download!

A Christmas Story

I love the look of Christmas trees with matching ornaments, symmetry, themes, a cohesive color story, etc. And one day I may have one of those trees, but I don't right now. I have this horrible, artificial tree from Big Lots, circa 2003, adorned in a cacophony of mismatched ornaments. It was cute in all of my misc. apartments throughout the years, but it's ridiculous in our house in front of our huge picture window. Alas, I am too lazy & cheap to a) buy a real tree, or b) buy a better artificial tree. So every year, John drags it down from the attic & I put it back up.

When I was little, we usually had real trees, but our trees were also a hodgepodge of mismatched, misc. ornaments including your run-of-the-mill popsicle stick Christmas tree ornament & the always popular, class picture ornament. Our trees were also shrouded in bag after bag of silver "icicles." Do you remember these? Icicles were these silver shreds of cellophane that you "draped" on your tree, unless you had kids, in which case your tree ended up looking like Christmas Cousin It.

Over the years, as John & I have traveled to Albuquerque & Maryland for Christmas, I've started picking up random Christmas ornaments from these places. Here are some of my favorites:

These are my two Jonathan Adler ornaments from Mary Katherine. Love!

Washington, D.C.

Grand Canyon National Park. Love the kitsch factor!

Mexi-Santa from Playa del Carmen, Mexico (there's a bell in his belly!)

This is a fancy, Lenox ornament/sleigh bell from the year we got married.

More ornament pics here.

Southern Oven "Fried" Chicken

I made THE BEST fake fried chicken last night. It's from an old Weight Watchers cookbook. It was so good! I've made a lot of fake fried chicken in my day & this is definitely the most "fried" tasting one. It was easy to make, too. This one's going into the rotation!

Southern Oven "Fried" Chicken

Makes 4 Servings

Ingredients:

1/2 cup fat-free (or low-fat) buttermilk

2-3 drops hot red pepper sauce

*1/2 cup cornflakes, crushed

3 tbsp AP flour

1/4 tsp salt

1/4 tsp freshly ground pepper

*2 lbs chicken parts, skinned

4 tsp canola oil

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees; spray a large baking sheet with nonstick cooking spray.

2. In a large shallow bowl, combine the buttermilk & pepper sauce. On a sheet of wax paper, combine the cornflake crumbs, flour, salt & pepper. Dip the chicken in the buttermilk, then dredge in the cornflake mixture, coating completely. Place the chicken on the baking sheet; drizzle with the oil. Bake 30 minutes; turn the chicken over. Bake until cooked through, 15-20 minutes longer.

Kim's Notes:

I made some changes. First of all, I used Panko instead of cornflakes. Secondly, I don't know what "2 lbs chicken parts, skinned" means, so I bought 2 chicken breasts. I didn't use a baking sheet. I used an 8x8 Pyrex dish. I also added a little garlic & cayenne pepper to the panko/flour mixture & I used more canola oil then the recipe calls for because I misread the measurement. I'm convinced the canola oil is what made it taste so fried.

Go forth & fry!

Weekend Wrap Up

Friday:

Our friends Carolyn & David had their annual Christmas party. We met Jessica & Brian at Las Maracas for dinner, then headed over to the party. I decided to wear my new red gingham shirt. Earlier in the day, when John woke up & saw what I had on, he laughed & said, "I should wear my red gingham shirt, too." All day we were both wearing the same shirt, calling each other "shirt twin", etc. When it was time to head out for the night, he went upstairs to change & I kind of wouldn't let him, so we went to the party in matching shirts. I thought it was hilarious. John, not so much. Unfortunately, there is no photographic evidence of this matching, but trust me, it was really funny.

Saturday:

I mentioned awhile back that I lost my hair stylist. Well, I found her & visited her in her new salon on Saturday. If any of you are looking for someone to cut your hair, I highly recommend Jordan. You can find her at Salon Nfuse, next door to The Melrose Pub on Franklin Pike.

Mary Katherine & John threw me a graduation party at The Wine Loft on Saturday night. The weather was really crappy, so I was worried, but it worked out. The party was awesome! I had so much fun! Mary Katherine got me this hilarious cake from Puffy Muffin that read, "Congratulations, Kim. GO HAM." Everyone brought me graduation gifts, which I totally did not expect. I'm so thankful to Mary Katherine, John & everyone that braved the weather to celebrate with me. I really do have the best friends & husband in the world. And a special shout-out to Jessica, without whom, I would not be graduating.

Also, The Wine Loft was great. I had never been there before & I really liked it. My intolerance for hipsters & Vandy students usually keeps me out of bars, but this place I liked. It was quiet & dark & had all of these plush, velvet couches. The service was great, too. We had our own, personal server & they brought out bottles of champagne when we cut the cake. Really good time! Graduation party pics here.

Sunday:

It snowed all day yesterday, which was perfect because I didn't feel like going anywhere anyway. I watched Funny People, which I liked okay, but would have liked better if it was an hour shorter. Basically all I did yesterday was watch TV & eat leftover graduation cake. In related news, I weigh 300 lbs today.

Winter Running

It is unseasonably cold in Tennessee right now. As it's usually not this cold until January/February, I don't have winter running gear yet. I asked for it for Christmas, thinking I'd be fine until then. Oh, so wrong.

I've been running in normal work-out pants & then layering on top with a long sleeved shirt & a big, thick hoodie. I quickly learned this summer why wearing dry-weave running clothes are important, but I thought the main goal in the winter was to stay warm, dry-weave be damned. Yeah, not so much as it turns out.

The problem with cotton in the winter is that as you sweat (yes, you still sweat in the winter), your clothes get wet & keep you cold, whereas dry-weave, cold gear pulls the moisture away from your body, thus keeping you warmer. Unfortunately, dry-weave, cold gear isn't cheap, especially the good stuff. I'm talking to you, Under Armour...

On Wednesday night, it was 29-ish degrees outside. Yeah, cold. And it was my least favorite East Nasty route because the last time I ran it, I had a really hard time keeping up & not getting lost. And! During the run last week, it was so cold that I could hardly finish due to leg cramps, which I've never had before. WTF? So on Wednesday, I kept thinking I'd just skip it because what if my legs cramped up again, or I got lost, etc. But alas, I went.

I put on my normal, thin-ish work-out pants, my fancy, long-sleeved Lululemon shirt & a hoodie. I knew my legs would be cold, but my core was pretty warm. A) I totally went HAM on the run & not only didn't get lost, but I ran the whole thing & stayed with the front of the pack. B) I think I got frost bite.

When I got home & took my work-out pants off, I was bright red from the waist down, like raw bacon red. I looked sunburned. It was pretty ridiculous. So I put on my flannel reindeer pajamas that John LOVES (not really) & set about drinking as much hot chocolate as it took to return my skin to its natural pallor. I woke up with normal looking legs, so no harm, no foul. But I did immediately set out looking for warmer pants. Again, I've asked for some fancy schmancy running tights for Christmas, so I just needed a cheaper pair to get me through. Ahhh, Target, how do I love thee, let me count the ways....

Purchased at Target: 1 pair of base layer running tights for $24.99 & 1 base layer fleece pullover for $14.99. I ran in this outfit, plus a dry-weave long-sleeved shirt yesterday morning & was snug as a bug in a rug. Plus! No raw bacon legs. Score!

At The Movies

In all of my free time, I've watched a lot of movies, two of which I found blog-worthy, and no, I'm not talking about Nothing Like the Holidays, which I made the mistake of watching via Netflix Instant Streaming. Unless you're Puerto Rican &/or from Chicago, I do not recommend this movie. Fans of Debra Messing will weep over the tragedy that is her hair & wardrobe. Weep!

I digress. So here are the two movies I did enjoy.

Rachel Getting Married

This movie is from 2008, so a lot of you have probably already seen it. It earned Anna Hathaway an Oscar nomination for Best Actress. Speaking of, I love it when Anne Hathaway goes dark. In this movie, she's a former model who's in rehab & gets released for a few days to attend her sister's wedding at their parents' house. It's mostly about the relationship between the two sisters, but it's also about general family dysfunction. Anne's character, Kym, is a hot mess, but not the annoying type that you spend the entire movie wanting to slap. Instead you find yourself empathizing with her & hoping it all works out in the end. It's directed by Jonathan Demme, of The Silence of the Lambs fame. Yeah, did I mention this movie is dark? I really, really liked this movie & highly recommend it.

The Time Traveler's Wife

I was holding out on watching this movie until I read the book, but alas, I haven't read the book & forgot to move this down on my Netlfix queue, so when it came in the mail, I watched it. Disclaimer: I love both Rachel McAdams & Eric Bana, so I was probably predisposed to enjoy this movie. Bana's character, Henry, has a genetic disorder that allows him to time travel. I know, but trust me, it's not as distracting as it sounds. McAdams' character, Clare, meets Henry when she's a little girl & ultimately ends up marrying him. The science fiction aspect of this story was lost on me as I have no interest in science, whereas the romantic aspect was not. For me, this movie was about the relationship & marriage of Henry & Clare. It's a great love story. Also, this movie is visually stunning. I loved the settings all throughout this movie. Highly, highly recommend this movie. P.S. The movie is grittier & a lot less Lifetime Movie Network than the below trailer would lead you to believe.

Weekend Wrap Up

Friday:

Katie treated me to dinner at this AMAZING thai restaurant in Smyrna called Thida Thai. It was so good! Possibly the best thai I've ever had. Thanks, Katie!

Saturday:

My friend Heidi works at Lululemon, so I've been going with her to these free Lululemon-hosted yoga classes. (More info here.) So I met Heidi Saturday morning for a free yoga class at Yoga Source in Cummins Station. I loved it! I'm really getting back into yoga, especially these classes because they're so much more challenging than what I'm used to. I'm sweating as much in these classes as I do in Spin!

For our friend Amanda's birthday, we went to dinner at Miss Saigon, where I decided to try pho for the first time. I'm hesitant to report this, but I kind of hated pho. Long story short, I ended up getting in a shouting match with them because they gave me the wrong thing, never came back to the table & then wouldn't take it off our bill. This was our second time at Miss Saigon. The first time was awesome -good food, good service. Not so much this time. They're out of the rotation for now.

Sunday:

Yesterday I made the mistake of going into David Kidd. It's so sad! I felt like a vulture picking apart a carcass. That being said, everything in the store is at least 30% off, some things 40-50%, so there are definitely deals to be had. It's just so sad.... RIP David Kidd. RIP...

I also started Season 3 of Friday Night Lights yesterday, and subsequently watched 5 episodes. Ya'll! It might be time for an FNL intervention.....

Ma Ma Ma Ma

One of my favorite blogs, TeenAngster, posted a video yesterday of this bizarre Christmas song that I couldn't get enough of. I forwarded it to John & he said it's this German disco group from the 70s & that their producer is the same guy who orchestrated the whole Milli Vanilli scandal. He also mentioned that Lady Gaga sampled one of their songs for "Poker Face."

John is constantly quizzing me on music-related things that I don't have the wherewithal to figure out, i.e. "I just fixed the tape machine. Listen to this & tell me which song is coming from the tape machine & which one is coming from the console." Yeah, I had no idea.

So he pulls up this song/video that Lady Gaga apparently sampled & said, "don't worry, it will be obvious." And it totally was (see 1:03). So without further ado, I present to you, Boney M.