The Blonde Mule

what? no pics? these sound delicious. how can y...

2009-11-08T17:08:42.942-06:00

what? no pics? these sound delicious. how can you go wrong with butter and sugar? and what's your tip for rolling the dough? when i made pie crust last year i got a tip that said to use wax paper, two sheets, put the dough ball in the middle, and roll over the paper, then peel the paper off, but i only had medium success with this method.

use parchment paper on your cookie sheets (butter ...

2009-11-06T01:27:02.112-06:00

use parchment paper on your cookie sheets (butter the sheets, then the parchment paper sticks to it!) the stuff really, really works!

Wow, thanks everybody! I'll take this comment by ...

2009-11-05T09:55:40.264-06:00

Wow, thanks everybody! I'll take this comment by comment.

Jessica: Thanks, I agree.

Alexis: I went through that phase, too -of thinking every new girl I met was trouble. But in the past few years I've met some awesome girls who have become truly good friends, so I think I must have been going through a phase where I was attracting people that needed to be "fixed." Luckily, I seem to have outgrown it.

EM: This person did try to reconnect, but I didn't follow through. She sent me a very nice email when I got engaged & I just deleted it. (I can be known to hold grudge.) No, until I ran into her, I had not thought about her -good point. She's definitely not missed. You're helping me to realize that I don't need to reconnect. She was fun, but she's not someone that I've thought about over the years, or missed. Thanks.

April: You raise valid points, although your situation was a lot more serious than hers. You were ending a marriage & she was just sleeping with some douchebag. I don't think I'll reconnect with her, but I do have other friends that I've divorced & do think about. At some point, I may try & reconnect with them. Thanks for the advice. And I do have an awesome sugar cookie recipe. It's at home. I'll try & remember to post it tonight.

Libby: I think you're right. I think this is one bridge that doesn't need to be rebuilt.

Thanks again, ladies. Clearly I won't be serving any of you divorce papers anytime soon.

Yeppers, I've divorced a friend or two for similar...

2009-11-05T09:36:50.815-06:00

Yeppers, I've divorced a friend or two for similar reasons. And their failure to attempt to rekindle the relationship has reinforced my decisions. I hate running into them, but it is kind of entertaining to hear how much they miss me & how much they want to get together - only b/c I know they'll never follow through.

As for your ex, I would suggest keeping that bridge burned. I just don't think people change much & I fear you'll find yourself back in the same situation. A self-centered person will probably stay that way.

I really know both sides of this well. When I wa...

2009-11-04T19:34:09.877-06:00

I really know both sides of this well.

When I was in a "dark place" I wasn't an amazing friend, but I wasn't an awful one either. There was a two year span of time where I was solid, downright flake. I couldn't properly ask for forgiveness for my flakiness at the time because then I would've exposed myself and the reasons for my flakiness (insert said dark time here) and I just wasn't prepared to open my situation up to anyone at the time. My friends more than likely translated that flakiness into me not caring, which couldn't have been further from reality. Unfortunately, I just wasn't mature or strong enough to deal with it all, and internally, I was too sad and exhausted to make a larger effort. I now reference that period of my life to “the two years I felt 1000 years old”. Thankfully, some hung in there with me.

Now, at 29, I would say that I am a great friend, but it's all due to my hard lessons learned. I call, I visit, I email, I tell them I love them and tell them that often. For the first time in my life I'm close to informally throwing in the towel with someone. It really stinks and it makes me so sad, but there's only so much I can do. At some point, it just becomes too painful.

You might consider carefully inviting her into your life again. Divorce is really a bitch, an embarrassing shameful bitch, and more than likely she's learned from that split to cherish her authentic relationships more than she did when she was swimming in a pool of bad marriage hell. Maybe meet her for a drink or a dinner to catch up? That might allow a short time period for you to feel it out?

I'd also say prepare yourself for the chance that she might not welcome your offer. Sometimes the act of being de-friended, even if it was justified in your eyes, is hurtful enough to both parties to sour it for good.

Best of luck on this, Kim. You’ll make the right decision.

Now- do you have a good sugar cookie recipe? I've almost cooked my way through your blog. Thanks, by the way!

(sorry this was such a long answer. i’m in a hotel room in DC, on a date with my google reader with endless amounts of time to write an obnoxiously long comment. I owe you a drink if you made it to this point)

Has this person ever called you to find out how yo...

2009-11-04T18:32:01.494-06:00

Has this person ever called you to find out how you are?

No?

Then, do you really have time to cultivate this "relationship" while you are working on maintaining the current, meaningful, successful relationships you already have?

Until you ran into her, had you thought about reaching out to her before?

Do you feel like she is missing from your life?

I think it is strong to realize that certain people don't belong in the inner sanctum. It is not bitchy.

Maybe the universe made you run into her to help you solidify your decision instead of question it.

But, don't listen to me. I am 'new-friend-shy' because I am afraid of ending up in a similar situation.

yes, yes, and yes. i am exactly this way. i have...

2009-11-04T09:52:09.043-06:00

yes, yes, and yes. i am exactly this way. i have very dramatically and very subtly dumped friends, even "best friends" for this very reason (the life-sucking, the one-sided support, calling when they need something and not when they think you might, having trouble making time for you until they need someone to "vent" to, etc). sometimes i wonder if i should just stop making friends with girls because it seems to happen a lot, then i start to wonder if its ME and not them, but im pretty sure its them, haha. i feel like im a pretty good friend, too. i really try to make an effort when i care about someone, and i dont want to waste that on someone who wont do the same.
in regards to getting back together with the old friend- ive kinda tried that before, like, had a conversation with a former friend where she was pretty much asking to "get back together" and i would say "yeah, lets do something" and then it never happens- she never makes an effort(which is exactly why i dumped her in the first place). so.... good luck! ;)

I can't give you any advice based on experience, b...

2009-11-03T19:39:34.698-06:00

I can't give you any advice based on experience, but from reading your post I get a bad "gut" feeling about reconnecting with someone who only takes. Yes, people go through bad times, but even in their darkest hour, a good friend will take time to listen to you.

I want some.

2009-10-28T17:37:28.516-05:00

I want some.

looks delicious.

2009-10-28T15:58:27.889-05:00

looks delicious.

we have excellent luck w/ buckwheat noodles. rollu...

2009-10-27T22:48:23.059-05:00

we have excellent luck w/ buckwheat noodles. rollum uses them all the time for veggie/tofu stir fry. we got a HUGE box of them at k & s for like, $5, whereas individual packs were $2.99/each at whole foods. (they call them something vague like "oriental dried noodle" but the only ingredients are wheat flour & salt).

Marshall suggests chili powder and cayenne pepper....

2009-10-27T19:59:08.983-05:00

Marshall suggests chili powder and cayenne pepper.

You guys crack me up!!!! There is a difference bet...

2009-10-27T05:30:04.242-05:00

You guys crack me up!!!! There is a difference between bulls and steers. A steer has been castrated; a bull has not. A "cow" is a female that has had a calf. A heifer is a female that has not had a calf. "Calf" is generic for a baby cow. Leave it to the girly girl who grew up on black Angus (a breed of bovine) farm to correct you two!

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

2009-10-26T09:03:02.314-05:00

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

i just logged onto flickr for the 1st time in awhi...

2009-10-21T22:28:23.208-05:00

i just logged onto flickr for the 1st time in awhile, thanks to all your tags. i've gotten lazy about pictures lately. anyway, it was a good motivator to see all those chubby pictures of myself. i haven't been eating as well and exercising as much lately, so that was a good kick in the pants!

Thanks Kim! The art of cooking clearly was not han...

2009-10-20T16:48:00.699-05:00

Thanks Kim! The art of cooking clearly was not handed down from generation to generation in my family. Baby steps....

Jessica, Brown the meat in a 12" nonstick skillet...

2009-10-20T11:57:02.587-05:00

Jessica,

Brown the meat in a 12" nonstick skillet. Takes about 10 minutes on medium heat.

While meat is cooking, pour all other ingredients into crockpot or whatever pot you're using. I use my big Martha Stewart dutch oven.

Once the meat is browned, drain it & add it to the pot with the other ingredients. Stir together.

If using crockpot, cook on low for 6-8 hours. If using dutch oven, cook on medium low for 1 hour.

Time saving tip: do all of this the night before, then in the morning, turn on crockpot & you'll have dinner ready when you get home from work.

Looks good, Kim! I have a bunch of chili recipes t...

2009-10-20T08:22:42.760-05:00

Looks good, Kim! I have a bunch of chili recipes too. Sometimes it's hard to decide which one to make.

You underestimate the lack of cooking experience o...

2009-10-19T16:03:14.535-05:00

You underestimate the lack of cooking experience of your audience. How long do you cook everything together after browning the beef? Do you use a crock pot? I love that this recipe has no onions since I'm allergic and practically every chili recipe calls for them.

the stairs look great!

2009-10-19T09:06:20.794-05:00

the stairs look great!

that goat is funny! he sounds like an obnoxious m...

2009-10-13T10:49:53.518-05:00

that goat is funny! he sounds like an obnoxious mt. dew commercial or something. thanks for sharing! and thanks for the area rug advice, i will be sure to check those out.

Git yer g'dang hands of my bloody man.

2009-10-08T13:05:30.405-05:00

Git yer g'dang hands of my bloody man.

yeah, this looks really good! thanks for the recom...

2009-10-08T09:09:22.143-05:00

yeah, this looks really good! thanks for the recommendation. i still have to return the omnivore's dilemma....

dexter's one of those shows (along with weeds) tha...

2009-10-08T09:05:40.842-05:00

dexter's one of those shows (along with weeds) that i've watched off-and-on depending on whether or not we had the free showtime. i think i've seen all of the 1st and 2nd seasons - i should try to rent/borrow season 3!

I heart Julia Child. I'm gonna pick this up.

2009-10-07T09:37:43.746-05:00

I heart Julia Child. I'm gonna pick this up.