July 16, 2008

My Mercedes Is Not For Sale

This is what I awoke to this morning:

from: John
1:33 am (7 hours ago)

to: Kim, Jon, Denis, Rollum, Phantomhip, Joe, Matt, Adam, Andrew, Shelley, Kevin

date: Jul 16, 2008 1:33 AM

subject: My Mercedes is not for sale

http://www.mijnmercedes.nl/paginas_en.php?subcat_id=4

Remember my urban legend that you can buy a brand new Ford F-150, drive it to Alaska, and sell it at a profit, even though you just drove the hell out of it to Alaska?

Well, this is kinda like that, but way more dangerous. West Africans want cars so badly, that you can buy a beat-up car in Amsterdam and drive it all the way to Burkina Faso, and make money doing it!

For the map-impaired, here's your itinerary:
Holland
Legoland
Germany
Czechslovakia
Hungary
Romania
Bulgaria
(cross the Bosporus at Istanbul)
Turkey
Syria
Israel
Egypt
(drive across the Sahara Desert - I originally thought this meant drive a highway across the desert. It apparently means drive across the f*%^ing desert)
Libya
Algeria
Mali

Arrive at some hilarious tragic coastal country, get a carwash, and sell your hell car at a huge markup. Your hell car you just drove across the damn Sahara Desert.

Beware (in order of appearance):
Genocide
Dracula
Gypsies
Allah
Genocide
Scorpions
Cobras
Genocide
Sphinx
Juzam Djinn
Sarlaac Pit
Genocide
Al-Qaeda
Humphrey Bogart
Tigers
Genocide

I just dug out my passport, so I'm ready to go basically whenever. Pack a swimsuit and a turban. Life takes Visa. I also heard you can buy a cruise ship in Sierra Leone and sell it in Nicaragua for a huge markup, so we're all set for the return trip.

John


Yes, I'm marrying this man in a few months. Hopefully this is not what he has in mind for our honeymoon. I was really hoping for something with a little more beach time and a little less genocide....

2 comments:

The Scruggs said...

this makes me so very happy...

carolyn said...

Ohhhhh John!

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