My Year of Not Running

Hello, my name is Kim and I'm a reformed compulsive exerciser. It's been one year since my last run. You may know me by the infamous expression, Go HAM. And Go HAM I did. Until I didn't.

I slept in today until 7:00am, and woke up without the need to look outside to see if it was raining/snowing, check my phone for the current temperature, or spend ten minutes deciding how many layers to put on to be outside for 30-60-120 minutes. Is it a holiday? Am I on vacation? No, friends. It is a Friday in my post-running world.

I started running by accident in 2009. I signed up for a charity 5K and surprised myself by running most of it. I ran on my own for a few months to make sure my body could do it, that it wasn't a time-limited offer from my joints, and then I joined a couple of running groups and started running. In five years, I completed 7 half marathons, 10 triathlons, and 1 Half Ironman.

The mark of a true runner is how much money they've spent on physical therapy. I was in physical therapy off and on from 2010 to 2014. First for my left hip, then my left ankle, then my left knee, then my right knee, then my shoulder, then back to my knees. I also paid for x-rays, cortisone shots, prescription anti-inflammatories, sticks, foam rollers, an orthopedic sports doctor, a rheumatoid arthritis specialist, acupuncture, shoe inserts, ankle and knee braces, and kinetic tape. Let's just say if what I spent on being an injured runner were a car, it would not be a seven year old, manual transmission Toyota Camry with no hubcaps.

You might be wondering, is she made of glass? Did she not receive enough calcium as a child? No, my bones are fine, all of my injuries were due to overuse. In fact, this is tame compared to what most long distance runners go through. You see, I never made it past half marathon level. There is another echelon of injuries and physical therapy for those who run full and ultra marathons. If you're reading this and you're in high school, or early college, become a physical therapist. You will always have a job.

Around this time last year, I got up at 4:45am, looked outside to see if it was raining/snowing, checked my phone for the current temperature, spent ten minutes deciding how many layers to put on to do a 40 minute run, then got in my car and drove to one of my weekly group runs. My heart wasn't in it, so when my knee gave out a mile into the run, I called it, I was done with this sport.

In early fall, when the weather changed, I missed running for the first time. There's nothing like the first cool run of the year after a long, hot, southern summer. Luckily, I'm not the only one in my friend group who quit running, so I called on my fellow non-runners and we started hiking. That scratched the itch and the running bug went back into hibernation.

I did it. I went one whole year without running. God knows what I've saved on race registration fees. I'm hoping quitting running is like quitting smoking, that for every year you don't run, you gain ten years on your knees' lives.

I didn't realize how much pain I was in until the pain wasn't there anymore. One day it was just gone and I realized, 'Holy shit, I have been in pain for six years!'. I live in a sixties era, split level house, with full and half flights of stairs everywhere. Basically, I live in the house in Labyrinth. For six years, I've been hobbling up and down these stairs, usually going down them sideways. Not anymore! It is glorious.

I didn't quit running to replace it with something else. I quit because it was something I was wearing that didn't fit anymore, so I took it off. I finally had the space to think about what I wanted to do. Turns out, I wanted to twerk. So now I twerk, hike, walk, ride my bike, and ride a cardio machine at the gym when I feel like it. My body is different than it was when I was running, but I'm okay with that. None of the things I want in life are related to my physical fitness. It's time to give my body a break and focus on my voice, creativity and writing. It just fits.

P.S. If you're interested in my thoughts leading up this post, read Diet Industry Drop-Out.

P.P.S. An embarrassing look at where I was at a year ago Eff You, January Body.

An Interview with Fitness Instructor Katherine Tisha Wilson

There's a quote Brene Brown uses in Rising Strong. It's from The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho and it goes:

When you're on your path, the universe will conspire to help you.

The universe helped me when it introduced me to today's bitch. When I met Tisha, I was coming off of a two-year stretch of compulsive exercising and dieting and I needed a new community where I could start over. I not only found my community, I found a leader who starts each class by thanking someone who helped her that day, and closes each class with an impassioned plea to love yourself, forgive yourself, and get rid of the people in your way.

Praise and compliments make Tisha uncomfortable, which I understand because I have the same problem, but she is boots on the ground, helping women feel safe, supported, empowered and celebrated. And I don't mean like four women she has lunch with once a month, no, I mean upwards of 120 women in a basketball gym three nights a week. Tisha and her classes have healed me in a way I didn't even know was possible, and I will be forever grateful. Meet today's bitch, Wonder Twerk Woman, Katherine Tisha Wilson!

What is your job title and where do you work?

I hold several jobs:  b.fab.fitness instructor by night, Vanderbilt office assistant by day, and my third job is nursing. I'm also a mom to three sons and a PhD student.

When did you first learn about this field of work?

I've always been in the medical field, but over the last five years I discovered a passion for the administration side. I'm getting my PhD in Health Care Administration.

The b.fab.fitness instructor developed like a sweet story book. I was on a mission to lose weight because I found myself taking showers in the dark. I had become so angry at myself. One day I attended a class at Coleman Community Center, and I was hooked. I started out in the back and worked my way up to the front, as well as slimming down. Four years ago, I was attending a class and none of the instructors showed up, so I plugged in my iPod and taught a gymnasium full of people. The rest is history!

How did you know it was what you wanted to do?

Nursing was not my choice, but I come from a long line of nurses, so imagine the shock when I said I wanted to switch over to administration.

B.fab has always been a great stress reliever. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would teach a class.

What was your path that lead you to the job you have now?

Currently I am obtaining my PhD, which is a great opportunity for me. B.fab has opened up so many doors as far as meeting new people and pushing myself in all areas of exercise. I now run marathons and ultramarathons.

Favorite piece of advice, business or otherwise?

My favorite piece of advice was given to me two years ago when I was at my lowest point in my life from a failed marriage. I was told:

Always remember it’s not what happens, but what you learn from it. Your greatest strength will come when you are hurting the most.

Failure you learned from or that helped you improve the way you work?

I must say that to me failure is in the eye of the beholder. My greatest gift is sharing my life with others. Failures are meant to be built upon. There is no greater feeling than overcoming something that should have broken you. 

What would you do with 2 more hours a day?

Dance, especially twerk.

What is your greatest success (or something you’re most proud of) in your life?

It's two things. One, getting my master's degree. I was a high school dropout and obtaining my master's was everything. Two, losing over 125 lbs.

What’s the first app or website you open when you wake up in the morning?

Well, technically I run six miles every morning at 4am, but I always read Morning Inspiration by Joel Osteen. It’s important to set the tone of peace daily.

How do you decompress at the end of the day?

Hot tea and romance novels.

What’s the hardest thing about your job that isn’t obvious?

Consistency and trying to stay relevant. B.fab is my passion and I love it with all of my heart because it allows me to show people you can do anything you wants regardless of your limitations or your past. B.fab provides an oasis where you can cast away your fears and be you while sweating and improving your body one twerk at a time.

What is one thing everyone gets wrong about what you do?

That I am a beast. I am not. I am just persistent and refuse to fail.

Lastly, and most important, what is your favorite TV show and what is your favorite snack?

Law and Order is my favorite. Gummy bears, fries and margaritas.

All photos courtesy of Katherine Tisha Wilson

P.S. You may also like this Bitch:  Public Policy Director, Melanie Bull!

P.P.S. Full list of My Bitches here.

Diet Industry Drop-Out

I'm stealing the phrase "diet industry drop-out" from my friend bitch Freya West. During a recent burlesque show, Freya sang a 1929 Sophie Tucker song called, "I Don't Want To Get Thin." If you're alive and on Facebook, you've seen this video, but you should watch it again, #shinetheory.

In the past few months, I've turned forty, realized I've probably lived my entire life with an undiagnosed eating disorder, and read Shrill: Notes From A Loud Woman by Lindy West. I don't know if it's the birthday, the election, or the growing body acceptance movement, but I feel like all the wires in my brain have come undone and are reconnecting in different ways. I'm like a lady Hulk who's superpowers are feminism and caftans.

Why am I telling you this? Because at least once a week, someone introduces me as their friend who works out 1,000 times a week and trains for "crazy" triathlons. Guess what? No, I don't. And no I haven't for like a year. This makes me uncomfortable because:  A) I am not great at accepting compliments; B) this description is not true; and C) this description is of a woman who was really sad.

I don't regret losing forty pounds or doing a Half Ironman; they were great tools for me during a difficult time. But... I'm not that person anymore. I quit swimming nine months ago, I quit running six months ago, and aside from random leisure rides, I quit competitively riding my bike over a year ago. I have a personal trainer, I twerk, I do yoga, and I have a $10/month Planet Fitness membership that I use maybe once a week. I don't track calories or weigh myself. Sometimes my fancy jeans fit, mostly they don't. Luckily, I own 3,000 caftans.

Assuredly, part of the problem is that my bio on every corner of the Internet reads, "runner and triathlete." I haven't changed it because I'm a perfectionist, and if I can't do it "right", then I freeze. Current working bios include:

Writer and blogger. Diet industry drop-out. Budding twerker. Master thrifter. Snapchat enthusiast.
Writer and blogger. Diet industry drop-out. Lover of twerk class, Snapchat, and rural Tennessee thrift store wares.
I believe....
I do what I want!
It's more fun to be happy.

ANYWAY. So yeah, I'm not a runner anymore. I may still be a triathlete since triathletes are known for taking one to two years off and then picking it back up again. In the meantime, I'm going to continue laughing at videos of myself twerking and daydreaming of starting a Nashville Thrifters Club. Stay tuned alert!

P.S. Do you struggle with body shame? So do I. My thoughts.

P.P.S. But do you know what helps? Dancing. And twerking.

High-Five, April Body!

So... back in January, like most people the month after Christmas, I was a little fluffy and a little mad. In a post titled Eff You, January Body, I wrote:

As I finished out 2015, I was doing 7+ hours of swim-bike-running a week, plus 2 personal training sessions and 1 yoga class. I have more or less been working out like someone training for a 70.3 triathlon for 2 years with no break. To say I'm burned out is the understatement of the world. I've got to figure out how to keep my body in the general vicinity of it's current size by doing things I want to do, and may even have fun doing. Stuff like hiking, or twerking. Or paying $10 a month to ride a cardio machine at Planet Fitness for 45 minutes twice a week. To be cont'd.

I'm happy to report, I'm figuring it out! About a month after I wrote that post, I read Happier At Home by Gretchen Rubin and had an epiphany:  I do what I want! (said like a 4-year old, mid-tantrum). Gretchen writes about "being Gretchen". I really identified with that, but didn't like the phrase "be Kim", so I tweaked it to "I do what I want!" It also feels more positive to think about what I want, instead of focusing on what I don't want.

So what do I want? Glad you asked! I want to eat better, have fun exercising, and my clothes to fit.  I talked to my therapist, my trainer and I signed up for a meal plan from one of my favorite bloggers. I'm super into all of this and since so many people ask me about my trainer and my twerk class, I thought I'd share their info.

Personal Trainer

Rickey Taylor -- Xcelerated Training

I've been working out with Rickey twice a week since July, and there is a HUGE difference in my body. Huge! I've always been interested in women who lift weights and do strength training, but I've never known what to do, and whatever I did on my own, didn't change my body. Not now! You should see how strong I am and what my shoulders look like in a tank top. Personal training is a luxury, but at our age, most of us can afford a little luxury, especially in the name of strengthening our bones and living longer. ALSO, Rickey is doing my meal planning now and it's really working, so you get a lot of bang for your buck.

Twerk Class

Tisha Wilson -- b.fab.fitness

I'm new to this class, but I am obsessed with it. I've been going once or twice a week for a little over a month now. I take the b.fab.funk class at Coleman Park on either Monday or Thursdays at 7:00pm. I prefer the Monday night class, but my cycling team has a Monday night ride, so I'm going on Thursdays now. The class costs $3 and it is hands-down the hardest workout I do all week. It's also the most fun I've ever had in my life. If you want proof, here's a video of us dancing to "Formation" by Beyonce:  b.fab.fitness FORMATION by Beyonce.



Yoga

Rachel Mathenia -- 12South Yoga

I started practicing yoga in New York after 9/11 when my doctor prescribed it for anxiety. I've consistently practiced for 15 years. I made the switch to Iyengar in 2014 when my sweet friend Paige invited me to her Thursday night class. The class schedule changed about a year ago and now I practice with Rachel, who I love dearly and am convinced I share a soul with, or at least the same core personality traits. I love Iyengar and highly recommend it if you have an injury, persistent pain, or if you just want your body to work right.

Meal Plan

Laura Agar Wilson -- Wholeheartedly Healthy

I'm currently working with my trainer on a meal plan, but earlier this year I signed up for Laura's free Two Week Quickstart Guide and I loved it! I've been reading Laura's blog for probably 6 or 7 years now and I'm a big fan. Even if you're not in the market for a meal plan, add her blog to your Reader. Her perspective and her writing style is very unique, very funny, and very real. Seriously, I love her.

My exercise in a typical week looks like this:

2 personal training sessions
1 twerk class
1 yoga class
1 bike ride
1 HIIT (high intensity interval training)

That's it! I'm real happy with all this right now. It's not overwhelming and it's not a week full of stuff I "have to" do. I do what I want!

Eff You, January Body

Man, January took a toll on my body. I spent Christmas like everyone else:  binge-watching Making A Murderer and binge-eating Christmas cookies. Then January rolls around and I (A) get super sick and have to go on steroids, and (B) give up my spot in cycling class due to an anticipated schedule change, a schedule change that didn't happen, but I lost my spot nonetheless.

Having to go on steroids the week after Christmas is #thestruggleisreal enough, but being too sick to work-out for the first half of January is unbearable for someone who gets an emotional release from exercise, as well as most of her socialization for the day. So right now I'm feeling a lot cagey and a little fat.

Am I actually heavier? Who knows. It doesn't serve me to weigh myself. All of my clothes are tight, so probably. Oh, and I broke a Moving Comfort sports bra in half (in half!!) this morning trying to put it on.

I'm torn between being a good role model, a good feminist and loving my body, and wanting my jeans to fit. More than that though, I apparently need to exercise and talk to people or I get crazy.

As I finished out 2015, I was doing 7+ hours of swim-bike-running a week, plus 2 personal training sessions and 1 yoga class. I have more or less been working out like someone training for a 70.3 triathlon for 2 years with no break. To say I'm burned out is the understatement of the world. I've got to figure out how to keep my body in the general vicinity of it's current size by doing things I want to do, and may even have fun doing. Stuff like hiking, or twerking. Or paying $10 a month to ride a cardio machine at Planet Fitness for 45 minutes twice a week.

To be cont'd.

Bumps n' Grinds

Let's talk about burlesque. I'm into it. No, I don't do it. The leg strength that enables me to bike and run, oh, I don't know, 70.3 miles, unfortunately, renders me a terrible dancer. But that doesn't keep me from trying. Why? Because life's a bitch and then you die, so why not take a burlesque class.

Initially, I was going to write a book report on burlesque because there are so many misconceptions about it, but you know what? Ain't nobody got time for that. If you're so inclined, here's the Wikipedia page. I like to describe burlesque as a variety show with boobs.

Let me back up and tell you how I entered this strange, amazing, tasseled world. A few years ago, the universe presented me with the gift of Freya West. She entered my world in a cloud of glitter, tattoos and blue hair, exuding self confidence and positive, badass energy. She's kind of like a tattooed unicorn. Freya is one of my favorite people and she just happens to be the Headmistress of Nashville's own burlesque school, Delinquent Debutantes.

I started going to burlesque shows and LOVED them. Then Freya opened a dance studio down the street from my house. I backed the Kickstarter to fund the studio and earned 3 class credits. Freya suggested I try Floorwerk and/or Bumps n' Grinds. I had a posse of girlfriends who wanted to go with me, and they wanted to do Bumps n' Grinds, so we booked it.

Y'all, this class is the most fun I've had all year. I laughed so hard my face hurt. And I learned a dance routine! When I came home and showed the routine to John, he stared at me like he was seeing me for the first time and asked how much the classes cost and how often can I go.

The class is called Bumps n' Grinds. I expected to learn some dirty, Laker Girls dance routine. Turns out, I was totally wrong. Bumps are hip bumps. Grinds are swinging your hips. Freya taught us how to do these things. Once we got it, she taught us how to travel while bumping and grinding and then she taught us how to add arm movements. It was awesome, tough and hilarious. I loved every minute of it!

I haven't been back yet because I got sick and now it's Thanksgiving, but I'll be back, probably next week. Bumps n' Grinds is on Tuesdays at 6pm. Go with me! Classes are $15 and you sign up here. The easiest way to get info is to like their Facebook page.

This post is already too long, but before I go, I want to stress how open and empowering the environment is at Delinquent Debutantes. This studio is for all ages, shapes and sizes. Freya calls it "bawdy positive". She also says, "If it jiggles, you're doing it right." Let go of your hang-ups and come dance with me! I'm looking at you, new moms.

P.S. If you're a cancer patient or survivor, check out Be Well Burlesque and come dance with me for free!



P.S.  Read my interviews with Burlesque Performer, Freya West and Burlesque Student, Becca Kemp!

P.P.S. Are you a diet industry drop-out? Me, too!