The craziest thing just happened to me. I'm really sore from Bikini Boot Camp, so I went for a walk to stretch out my legs. I was right in front of the alley that goes to my house when this lady flagged me down. She looked legit -blazer, button front shirt, etc, so I stopped to see what she needed. What she "needed" was for me to buy a $60 magazine subscription to send to "the troops". Here's the play-by-play:
Crazy: Excuse me.
Crazy: Do you support single mothers?
Crazy: Do you support recovering drug addicts re-entering the workplace?
Crazy: High five.
Me: Gave her five (the 1st of many in this short conversation).
Crazy: Well, I'm a single mother, a recovering drug addict & 3 weeks ago, I was homeless. I'm in this program that is teaching me how to have a firm handshake, how to look people in the eye & how to dress professionally. How am I doing?
Me: You're doing very well.
Crazy: High five.
Me: Gave her five. Again.
Crazy: I'm collecting signatures from people in your neighborhood who believe in me & want to help me succeed (produces previously unnoticed spreadsheet & thrusts it into my face).
Me: Now what am I signing here?
Crazy: Do you support the troops?
Me: **hesitantly** Yes...
Crazy: I'm selling magazine subscriptions to send to the troops.
Me: And how much is this going to cost me?
Crazy: $60 for 2 subscriptions.
Me: Well, I certainly applaud your effort, but I can't sign that. Best of luck.
Crazy: Wait, wait. I thought you said you support the troops.
Me: **getting irritated** I do support the troops, but I'm not giving you $60 for magazine subscriptions.
Crazy: Well, can you just give me money? I can follow you home so you can get a check.
Me: No, I'm not going to do that. Again, I applaud you for turning your life around & best of luck.
Crazy: **falls onto ground, clutching stomach** Oh man, the pain. My stomach is killing me. You got any pain pills?
I shit you not. This happened RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE like 15 minutes ago. WTF?