Yep, I'm wearing a heart monitor, or a holter, as my doctor calls it & it's not fun. Back story: in July, I started having heart palpitations. They actually started the day I got my first full paycheck in 8 months & had waaaay too much caffeine. I cut back on the caffeine, but the heart palpitations didn't go away. They actually got worse. I was having them pretty much all day, every day. And I didn't feel stressed. In fact, I felt relaxed because I finally had a job, albeit a temporary one. I felt like I could finally take a breath & relax for awhile. My body, clearly, was not as relaxed.
One afternoon, I was at work, totally relaxed, reading a book & they (they being the heart palps) got really bad. I panicked & called my mom, then called my doctor. I spoke to the nurse, who assured me I was not having a heart attack. Then she asked me something that changed the whole landscape of this, she asked if I've ever been treated for anxiety. Ugh. Yes.... But not in a long time. I was still a month away from having health insurance, so I made an appt for a full physical & tried to chill the eff out. In the almost 2 months since this first started, I've gone off the caffeine (sucks!) & started doing yoga twice a week. It's definitely gotten better, but it's still there.
My physical was yesterday. They did an EKG & it came back normal, but she still wanted me to wear a heart monitor for 24 hours just to be safe. So I'm wearing it until 2pm today. I can't work-out or take a shower & I look like a robot. I have 5 electrodes taped to me & then their long grey cords are everywhere, eventually reaching this box that looks like an early nineties beeper, that clips to my pants. It's super uncomfortable & awkward & I'm really not looking forward to going to work today wearing it.
My doctor doesn't think it's my heart, she thinks it's anxiety. She thinks I'm having a delayed reaction to losing my job last November. This actually isn't the first time this has happened to me, so she's probably right. For whatever reason, my body has a delayed physiological response to stress. Regardless, it's frustrating.
She gave me a prescription for Xanax with directions to take as needed, but if I feel like I need it every day, to call her. I don't know how long it will take to get the results of this weird thing I'm wearing today, probably next week, but I'm curious as to what those results will be. Regardless, I'm just going to continue looking for job & trying to stay moderately relaxed. I really do think I'm at the tail-end of this. If I could just find a stupid job....
To be continued.
16 comments:
I think I may have to swing by the office today just to see this thing!
Good lord, Kim- I had no idea! Let me know how it goes. As someone who has dealt with anxiety and panic attacks my entire adult life, I can give you all kinds of unsolicited advice next time I see you, haha.
Can I talk like a robot around you and call you RobotKim today? Or is that offensive? I'm still getting used to cyborg rights.
Seriously, though, I hope you're OK. Let me know if we need to pump up the jams over in 316 for a little stress relief.
yowza. keep me posted.
the other night, i could feel my heart pounding in my chest - it was so bad that it kept me from falling asleep. and then at the Y my heart rate's been off the charts. i've chosen to ignore it for now. wise? unwise?
Claudia: don't you dare come into the office today. You've got enough to do. I'll see you Saturday - AT YOUR WEDDING!
Jessica: Thanks. I didn't know I'd have to wear this either, or I would have told you the other day. I'm still planning on running tonight. I look forward to 30-45 minutes of "unsolicited advice," haha.
Colby: I may, in fact, need to pump up the jams today. Get with Khabra. She has a dance troupe: Khabra's Girls {jazz hands}.
Katie: Thanks, friend. I'll keep you posted. I don't know what to tell you. Do you have a physical coming up? Maybe ask your doctor? I'm sure it's nothing, but I definitely lean towards getting it checked out, or start tracking it & see if there's a clear trigger, i.e. caffeine, stress, working-out, etc.
I was wondering about that tweet.. how scary! How did you know you were having heart palpitations? Is it where you can feel your own heart going skippety-skip?
i was wondering about that tweet, too! i will be very interested to hear the results of your test. i also have a lifelong history of anxiety/panic attacks and can offer a little advice about that, too. take care of yourself, dear kim!
Ugh. I mean, YAY that it's not a heart attack, but ugh all around otherwise.
Eva: No, at first, I had no idea what this was. It felt like my heart would go out of rhythm for a second & then my breath would catch. A friend gave me a book called Don't Panic, which helped me realize what was going on.
Alexis: I love having a friend who's a nurse. Not because you're a nurse, but because nurses have that personality you have - I know you genuinely care about my health & it's nice. Thank you!
Ginger: Thanks. This getting old & no longer being able to physically deal with job stress is FOR THE BIRDS, which you know all too well. Ugh, indeed!
Count me in as an anxiety sufferer too. It stinks, I know. My doc gave me an echocardiogram last year and didn't find anything unusual. I hope you have the same outcome, Kim. Keep us posted!
Thanks, Libby. That book you gave me is super helpful. I just need to finish it give it back to you.
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